One of the most important, and often overlooked, aspects of a relationship is true physical intimacy. Now, I’m not suggesting that we are missing the sexual component, that one is pretty clear – but the term ‘intimacy’ refers to so much more. We have needs, both emotionally and physically, needs that we need to have met in order to maintain a healthy relationship. This includes the ability to be vulnerable with our partners, sharing our feelings, holding hands, kissing, hugging, exchanging thoughts and ideas (like travel plans) and spending quality time together.
For some, this intimacy will come naturally. This is often a result of one’s personality traits. For example, someone who is more sensitive is better able to pick up on someone’s emotional needs, while someone who is outgoing is more likely to step up and make the first move on a physical level. Looking at the personality traits associated with your zodiac sign, we can predict which types of intimacy you may struggle with, and which you do with ease. Interested in learning more?
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Determined, confident and independent, you are prepared to take on the world single-handedly which may be great in some areas of your life, but this mentality is killing the intimacy in your relationships. Why? Intimacy is built on the rule of give and take, and a relationship with you is a one-sided adventure. You expect your partner to share their deepest secrets and make an effort to meet your needs, but you aren’t willing to risk your independence long enough to be vulnerable. Take a step back and reconsider your role in this relationship – Stop demanding without offering anything in return. If you expect them to open up and share with you, you better be prepared to walk that same road!
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
No one can accuse you of being afraid of commitment. You, Taurus, are the very definition. However, knowing that when you choose someone and settle down its for life can make you incredibly picky when it comes to the dating game. You aren’t going to settle for just anyone, and this can prevent you from truly connecting with anyone early in a relationship. If you do let your guard down long enough to let someone in, and you finally settle into a long-term relationship, then your need for stability can be hard to live with. You are incredibly resistant to change, and as such you wish that nothing changes in your relationship…ever… Unfortunately, most people’s intimate needs change throughout the stages of their life and so too must you. Get over yourself or watch your relationship slowly fade out.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
There are two distinct sides to you, Gemini. On one hand, the ‘light’ twin is upbeat, flirty and romantic. You would love to find someone to sweep you off your feet, but at the same time you are so caught up in the magic during the early stages of the relationship that you fail to take it further, choosing to bask in the fun and flirtatious period rather than settling down. On the other hand, the ‘dark’ twin is where you conceal all of your feelings, hiding the things that you are ashamed of in the hope that you will never have to open up enough to share these. Let’s be blunt – This ‘horrible’ person you hide isn’t nearly as bad as you think. You’re overdramatizing and blowing it out of proportion. Let it go and move on.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Sensitive, caring and emotional, you are a natural at understanding your partner’s emotional needs at every stage of a relationship. You would do nearly anything for your partner, moving heaven and earth to support them in every situation but you still struggle to accept the same in return. Afraid that your wealth of emotions may be too much if you open that door, you do your best to keep them locked away. Newsflash: You’re not fooling anyone! Your partner is more than aware that you are often a blubbering mess so just let it out, ugly cry if that’s what it takes, and you can pick up the pieces together. Believe it or not, being open about your emotions is one of the biggest things you can do to take your relationships to the next level.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
You spend your life creating the impression that you are the all-knowing and all-powerful leader that can handle anything that life should throw your way. This need to hold the power is one that you carry into every area of your life, and your relationships are no different. This need for total power will cost you any chance at a ‘real’ and healthy relationship. In order to truly connect, you need to be willing to be vulnerable, even just the slightest bit. It’s going to be hard but deep down you know you’re not invincible so let’s drop the act for a bit. Open your mind to the idea of sharing power with the person you choose to spend your life with, it could make you the ultimate power couple.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
You have incredibly high standards set for yourself and the people around you, one may even argue that they are unreasonable and completely unrealistic. You try SO hard to be perfect that you have developed a sense of self-loathing, and this is the kryptonite in your attempts to build a meaningful relationship. You refuse to open up to others because you believe yourself to be unworthy, but it’s time to get over yourself! The fact is, we’re all imperfect, it’s a part of human nature. Ever one of us has flaws and weaknesses, and we all make mistakes. You aren’t some special case of being ‘worse than the rest.’ You’re holding yourself back, so shift your mindset – start recognizing your strengths and opening yourself up to a connection with others.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You believe that everything in the world should be just and balanced, and you will go to great lengths to create this illusion. That’s the key word here – illusion. You don’t actually fix the problems in your life or in your relationships, you patch them up enough to appear perfect form the outside. Meanwhile, the deeper issues fester beneath the surface, slowly destroying anything that you have built. Intimacy isn’t about how you look to those around you, it’s about being real and honest. It’s time that you start focusing on being the person that you have pretended so long to be. Step out of your comfort zone and take the difficult steps to start fixing some of these cracks in your relationship, and this newfound vulnerability with your partner will take you a long way.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You are wild, intense and passionate in all that you do and that, combined with your mysterious nature, can be incredibly intimidating to others upon meeting you. The truth is that you long to develop that intimacy with someone else, but you forget that there are two people involved in this process with their own thoughts, feelings, and emotions – and they may not as tough skinned as you. Your blunt and ‘honest’ way of approaching issues in life can hurt the people close to you, pushing them away. I know it’s hard, but you’re going to have to learn to think a little before you speak – It’s called being a responsible adult. I’m not saying censor yourself to the point of never sharing how you feel, but consider that there may be a nicer way of sharing things from time to time…
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Adventurous and free-spirited, there is a part of you that would happily live the single life for the rest of your days. Even when you do find someone that you choose to settle down with, you don’t actually settle down. Honestly, have you considered an open marriage? It may be the only option to fulfill all that you are looking for in this life! Try reconsidering the way that you look at commitments and long-term relationships. Rather than viewing it as a trap right from the beginning, open your mind to the fact that you may be considering a life with this person because it can genuinely make you happy. Keep an open mind – It’s a crazy thought but you might not actually know everything!
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
You’re often seen as ‘the rock’ among your group of friends, known for your strong, capable way of handling the very situations that would cause others to crumble from their emotions. You go to great lengths to keep your emotions buried deep, after all, they are useless, now? Ok, consider this for a moment – when you bury your emotions you lose the ability to share in all that they bring – sadness, anger, frustration, happiness, joy, passion and desire. That’s right, there ARE good emotions too! Furthermore, by refusing to open up you push any chance of a connected and intimate relationship away. In the infamous words of Elsa from Frozen – Let it go!
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Incredibly intelligent and intellectual, you have a unique way of looking at the world around you. You see the world through the lens of logic as opposed to feelings, refusing to accept that your heart may actually play an important role in life on a day to day basis. The truth is, you can’t have a close, intimate relationship with another unless you start to explore your emotions and the role that they play. Often coming across as cold and calculated, you are going to have to completely retrain yourself and it won’t be easy! Start with small steps, identifying with even the most basic of emotions and go from there. Prepare yourself, however, for a rush of emotions when you open that door, as you suddenly come to accept the way you ‘feel’ about everything up to this point.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You have spent your whole life creating that ‘ideal world’ in your dreams, but you’re never going to truly connect with someone here in the real world unless you’re willing to come down out of the clouds and actually ‘be’ with them. Intimacy and connection come with understanding your partner, tackling the world together, accepting one another’s strengths and weaknesses, opinions, and journeys. All of this exists in the real and tangible world around us. This isn’t to say that you can’t dream, but let’s be a little realistic here. You are not going to be whisked off your feet tomorrow by a random millionaire willing to give you everything you have ever dreamed of – if you want something, you’re going to have to work for it and that includes developing a real and lasting relationship.